Inevitable ... Unacceptable... Tough to adapt... for your best but puts you through the worst of situations ....
yes change like this is hard to digest isnt it?...when you doubt your own dreams , when you doubt your own purpose and you lose the drive which pushed you across the seas ...you know that life is no longer the same and you need to take a grip on yourself...
But what if everytime you try to do so...your grip slips? ..why is my pole more oily you wonder?
Then maybe you think there's a reason unknown..like many purposes of life that lay submerged in those mysterious folds ..and unfold slowly revealing to you those unexpected moments of joy and surprise and woe and emotion...
What when you feel comfortable in loneliness but lost ... you shirk people because they evoke a guilt in you...You love the lonliness..but hate yourself for being so..
What when you realise that you wont have any more true intimate relatinships...and you are holding on tightly to your past...you cant afford to let them go...You have not stepped into your present and deny the changes!..
What if you feel that there are people who dont care!...who would not bother to stop and put in a word when you are down in dumps!...
You are the sole person who has to be questioned for every fault ...
You can no longer rush into that familiar bosom to seek comfort...
Then you know this...feel this...feel it pressing you down..like water's strong currents that pusj you away from the surface
And in this ...
when you smiled at the first snow...
when you stopped to see the squirrel collecting his first nut for the winter
when you looked up from your books and realised that dawn had broken the skies and she was stretching her fiery arms wide across the horizon....and let her embrace you
when you laughed till tears ran down ur eyes..
when you told a friend how much by just being there they made sucha difference
guess its then that i realised that this is when we had "grown" up...
to face your own weaknesses and accept your faults and to stirve on your strengths, all of this
that happened is a glimpse that the true world will be years from now....
I can remeber the lines scribbled on a flyer that was fluttering on our hall corridors
"God give me the strength to accept the things I cant change and the courage to change the things I can!"
truely those were the best of times and the worst of times! :)
